Thursday, May 28, 2009

Don't lose your peace

One of the greatest promises in the Bible is, "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."(Isaiah 26:3 NKJV) Who are we trusting to solve the problem, God or ourself? We need to live by the principle "Do your best, then let God do the rest."

Too many of us have the idea that it's wrong to enjoy ourselves while we have problems. We grow up believing that if we can't do anything else, the least we can do is worry, act stressed out and be miserable. The Bible addresses this: "Do not [for a moment] be frightened...for such [constancy and fearlessness] will be a clear sign...from God" (Php 1:28 AMP). This Scripture teaches us that when adversity comes (and it will) we must stay in peace. Satan doesn't know what to do with us when he can't get us upset; we've taken a powerful weapon out of his hands.

"For such [constancy and fearlessness] will be a...sign...from God." Keeping your peace doesn't exempt you from life's difficulties, it just allows God to have the last word. By trusting Him completely you are no longer at the mercy of circumstances, other people, or your own emotions and limitations.

I heard it said, from my Dad or some other wise person, "In times like these it's helpful to remember that there have always been times like these." The question is not will trouble come, but how will we handle it? The writer to the Hebrews says, "We which have believed do enter into rest" (Heb 4:3). When things go wrong - do what God leads you to do, then rest in Him and watch Him work on your behalf!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Grow In Grace.

Winning gracefully can be harder than losing gracefully. When we win we're tempted by arrogance, power, insensitivity, gloating, and wanting to relive our success long after everyone else is bored by it. Gracious winners always remember what it feels like to lose. They are caught up in something bigger than their own wins and losses. I discovered a story of great grace demonstrated by Abe Lincoln during his time as President that I wanted to share with you.

Abraham Lincoln had the wisdom to place the good of the country above his own ego, appointing his worst political critic, Edwin Stanton, to run the War Department. Stanton, a brilliant legal mind, could be brusque and condescending. As Frederick Douglass put it, "Politeness was not one of his weaknesses." Lincoln, on the other hand, was keenly aware of his looks and his uneducated background. (When someone charged him with being two-faced during a campaign, he responded: "If I had two faces, do you think I'd be wearing this one?"). As outgoing attorney general of the losing party, Stanton had belittled Lincoln as "the original gorilla." How Lincoln treated Stanton is Civil War history. Lincoln trusted in him, confided in him, leaned on him, depended on him. And Stanton responded with unfailing loyalty and affection.

On the morning of April 14, 1865, Abraham Lincoln died after having been shot the night before at Ford's Theatre. The most famous words ever spoken after the death of a president were spoken that morning: "Now he belongs to the ages." The speaker was Edwin Stanton. Robert Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln's son, said that after his father died he was visited in his room each morning for two weeks by Stanton who "Spent the first ten minutes of his visits weeping without saying a word." When nothing else works, showing grace does!

The book of 2nd Peter says it best. "Grow in grace." 2 Peter 3:18

Friday, May 22, 2009

Stick to what you know!

Our brain doesn't like blank spaces, so when it encounters questions without answers it searches for something to put in the blank spaces. And because we're driven by our own perceptions, needs and prejudices, we're not always objective. We're blind to our blind spots and think we "know," and the results can be disastrous for our relationships. "I know what your real intentions are. You think I don't know what's going on in that head of yours? I can tell by the look on your face exactly what you're thinking."

Such words indicate we've got the other person "pegged," and feel no need to consider the situation further because we couldn't possibly be wrong. Case closed. What about such Scriptures as, "He who answers a matter before he hears the facts - it is a folly and shame to him" (Pr 18:13 AMP). Or, "Be quick to hear, slow to speak" (Jas 1:19 NAS). Or, "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive" (Pr 17:28 NKJV).

Before you "sound off," consider three things:
(1) "No one can know a person's thoughts except that person's own spirit" (1Co 2:11 NLT). You may suspect, guess, even feel strongly, but you don't know their thoughts or intentions.

(2) "Who art thou that judgest another man's servant?" (Ro 14:4). Much of our "knowing," is merely our own judgmental spin on things.

(3) If you think you know and need to deal with the issue, try saying, "I have some impressions (concerns, observations, etc.) I'd like to talk about." Then discuss your observations, feelings and impressions as your perceptions, not "gospel truth," leaving judgment to God.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Prayer Is - Amazing!

One Bible teacher writes: "I read an interesting book by an unbeliever who attempted to 'do in' the Christian faith. Despite his lack of belief, I found insightful something he said regarding prayer. He called it 'the most incredible conceit in the history of humankind,' arguing that if you worked for General Motors as a lowly employee and wanted to see the boss, you wouldn't have the remotest chance...Think about it. What would happen if a citizen tried to speak to the President of the United States? I've thought about putting in a person-to-person call just to see what would happen.

I'd probably speak to an undersecretary to an assistant to somebody, but not likely the President...'And so,' says my skeptical friend in his book, 'what an incredible conceit to suppose that at any moment we can talk to the boss of 'the whole shebang.' And indeed the concept of prayer would be an incredible conceit...if it weren't true. But it is...and it's the most incredible condescension on the part of a gracious God. You could probably never speak to the highly placed people in this world, yet the most highly placed Person in the universe - 'the Boss of the whole shebang' - waits patiently to hear what you have to say.

We can come before God with freedom and without fear...through faith in Christ' (NCV). Don't you find that amazing? This day and every day you have the great privilege of prayer. You can talk to the Boss, tell Him your worries and cares, share with Him your triumphs and joys - and He always has time to listen." Prayer is - amazing!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I Love Teenagers!!!!!

Having teenagers in the family makes for a different environment. It's no so easy for the teen either. It is difficult being a teenager and getting harder by the day. Teenagers are neither adult nor child, and can become either without notice. Flooding hormones and exploding neurons spark biochemical reactions in their heads and bodies. Words like, "What in the world were you thinking?" form involuntarily on our lips. In response come sullen teenage shrugs, followed by the incomprehensible, "I don't know." And they don't! What can we do? "Lock them up?" Sorry, that's illegal. But here are several things that can help us love and care for teens.

(1) Back off and slow down. "Be clear minded and self-controlled." One of the biggest mistakes we parents make is overreacting, which triggers an escalating battle of wills we're unlikely to win. Decibel levels rise, wisdom fails, our teen concludes we're the crazy one, and suddenly there's no adult present and nobody's "minding the store." We've become part of the problem, leaving our child angry and insecure, without a rational role model. Pray, breathe deeply and count to ten! For our child's sake, it's time for the clear minded and self-controlled parent to prevail.

(2) Remember, anger begets anger. "An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin" (Pr 29:22 NLT). No one can infuriate us like a teenager trying to grow up. A look, a word, an attitude, and you're "hooked;" we're in a shouting match with our own child. How crazy is that? Emotionally charged exchanges hard wire our teenager's brain for automatic, long-term anger reactions. What's the answer? Use the carrot and stick approach of Scripture: "Provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture [love and encouragement] and admonition [character building discipline] of the Lord" (Eph 6:4).

(3) Tell them, "I Love you". Tell them, "I Love you". Tell them, I love you". Yes, I know I repeated it. I was actually trying to make this article longer so I threw a few extra in there for effect. (just kidding) I mean it, grab them tight and tell them you love them. This is so hard but really necessary. Keep them loved despite the problems so they don't look for love in the wrong place. It may feel like hugging a cactus, but getting stuck will heal and pay huge rewards.

For those with teenagers, good luck, we need it. Remember, tomorrow's leaders are about to emerge, so love and shape their life. Be Blessed.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Coming clean with God

A therapist who graduated 34 years earlier called the University of Oregon and admitted she'd cheated on a final exam. Instead of revoking her degree the University asked her to write an article on integrity. A woman who completed a walk around the world confessed she traveled part-way in a support truck. "I shouldn't be remembered as the first woman to walk round the world when I cheated," she said. How many of us would even have admitted our deception?

The Psalmist said, "When I kept silent about my sin...Your hand was heavy upon me."

Confessing your sins:
(a) Lets us experience God's forgiveness: He already knows about them anyway, but He won't forgive us while we're busy making excuses and blame-shifting. John says, "If we confess...he will forgive our sins" (1Jn 1:9 NCV). The first move is up to us.

(b) Restores our emotional and physical energy: Nothing's more draining than denial and nothing's more invigorating than a clean slate. David said, "My strength...failed because of my iniquity" (Ps 31:10 NAS). Reflecting on his affair with Bathsheba, he said, "When I kept silent... my vitality was drained...I acknowledged my sin...and You forgave the guilt" (Ps 32:3-5 NAS).

(c) Allows us to move on: Confession allows us to hit the "reset" button and start again. It's also important to draw a line between the past and the future in case we're tempted to repeat our behavior.

(d) Lets us grow: Thomas Edison said failure taught him over a thousand ways not to make a light bulb! Making our mistakes work for us instead of against us, starts with confessing them to God and accepting His forgiveness.

God is so gracious and faithful to deal with us, if we just give him the chance. No need to worry or fret, just come clean. Be Blessed...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Debunking marriage myths

The myth of the "right person," suggests happiness in marriage depends entirely on finding the right person. It's said to be a matter of luck, Cupid, the alignment of the stars, the moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie, etc., occasionally even God. Just find the right person and they'll make your life supremely happy, romantic, excited, fulfilled, blissful. They will become, as the song says, "that old black magic" that holds you in its spell, leading you into the enchanted land of endless love. It's all up to them. And nothing ever felt more convincingly real or right!

Despite the advice of friends and family, we'll "give away the farm" and turn ourselves inside out to keep this addictive, magic happening. When it stops (and it does), three things happen:

(1) We cry, manipulate, bribe, and later blame, vilify and consider them phonies for changing on us and making us miserable. "He's not the man I married," we complain. He may not be the person you expected him to be (that person doesn't exist outside your myth) but he is the one you married and the problem isn't all his.

(2) We label him "the wrong person" and either search for the right one or give up on the opposite sex as being false, faithless and fickle.

(3) We learn the truth: there is no right person to make us happy always. At that point we're set free to find happiness by becoming the right person, the one God created us to be, giving generously, allowing others to be real, limited, changeable humans, and looking to God for our joy!